From the Book of Isaiah. It shall be said, "Build up, build up, prepare the way, remove every obstruction from my people's way."
For thus says the high and lofty one who inhabits eternity, whose name is Holy: I dwell in the high and holy place, and also with those who are contrite and humble in spirit, to revive the spirit of the humble, and to revive the heart of the contrite. For I will not continually accuse, nor will I always be angry; for then the spirits would grow faint before me, even the souls that I have made. (Is. 57:14 -16)
This morning we read one of the standard Unitarian Universalist affirmations in our hymnbook. The one that begins with "Love is the doctrine of this church." Near the end of that affirmation are the words, "To the end that all souls shall grow into harmony with the Divine - Thus do we covenant with each other and with God." How do we grow into harmony with the Divine? What happens when we commit a sin ...or fall short of what we know to be the highest moral standards?
Many religions have ritual times during the year when people are allowed to confess their sins and to make things right with each other and with God. The solemn day of Yom Kippur is such a ritual time in the Jewish year. It is one of the Jewish High Holidays... also known as the High Holy Days. Yom Kippur comes at the end of the ten Days of Awe, which begins with Rosh Hashanah. Rosh Hashanah is literally the "head of the year" or the New Year in the Hebrew calendar.
Yom Kippur is a solemn day of fasting, prayer and atonement - in that sense not at all like our more pagan New Year's Eve celebration! It is the culmination of a ten day period of prayer and self-examination. It is a time when an observant Jew reflects on his or her behavior over the past year. Now is when resolutions are made for the year ahead. For the more religious Jew, it's a time of teshuva or turning back to God and the path of righteousness. God is willing to give us a chance, many chances in fact. The Holy One, blessed be He, dwells "with those who are contrite and humble in spirit, [in order] to revive the spirit of the humble, and to revive the heart of the contrite."
The more secular, humanistic Jews who still observe the holiday rituals believe it is a time to reflect on the moral quality of one's values and behavior. It is a time to resolve to put one's values into action, whether through acts of loving kindness and charity or by social protest and reform.
Of course, we all realize that no human being is perfect. Everyone has committed some offense against another person or people, however slight that might have been, during the year. It may have been cutting in front of someone in line at the Stop and Shop. It could have been arguing with your spouse, partner or parent and saying something hurtful which you didn't really mean. Or a child could let a brother or sister take the blame for something they themselves did. It could be being indifferent to the suffering of the homeless person on Main Street or to the victims of Hurricane Katrina. In recognizing our weakness, we recognize as well our bond with the rest of humanity. No one is perfect. Even saints and heroes have feet of clay, something we realize more and more as we get older.
This idea of our human imperfection should not be confused, my friends, with the Christine doctrine of Original Sin. In Jewish thought, a baby is not born sinful. Instead, it is what we do in our own lifetimes which make a difference. And it is within our control as human beings to make amends, to try again to live up to our best moral values. This sounds very much like Unitarian Universalism to me!
We must also recognize that we all need help along the way to become our best selves. And it's in a religious community where we can support each other in our struggles. It is also in religious community that we may feel our deepest connect to the divine, to that life force that supports and inspires us. Here is where the Holy One revives the spirit of the humble, revives the heart of the contrite. These are the reasons people come together in houses of worship. Is this so different from our affirmation, "To the end that all souls will grow into harmony with the Divine - thus to we covenant with each other and with God"?
We as imperfect human beings struggle and often fail. Yom Kippur is a time to ritually ask forgiveness of each other for harm done and, for those who believe in God, to ask forgiveness from God. It's also a time to grant forgiveness, but only if the one who has harmed you and who asks for forgiveness is truly repents and tries to make amends. It is also a time for self-forgiveness, which is very important for those of us suffering from excessive guilt. Having had a stereotypical Jewish mother (God love her), I really need to be reminded of this!
Actually, I'm not sure the Yom Kippur ritual we took part in just a moment ago got it quite right. I mean in the right order. As I interpret the ritual, it begins with forgiving others before they ask for it. "I hereby forgive whoever has hurt me, whoever has done me harm. Whether deliberately or by accident, whether by word or by deed. May no one be punished on my account as I forgive and pardon fully those who have done me wrong."
Could it mean forgive everyone for anything? Maybe I shouldn't take this too literally. Maybe that's just setting the stage for what comes after in the ritual of atonement... asking others for their forgiveness. But it makes me a bit uneasy. It sounds as if we're being asked to instantly forgive and pardon those who commit horrible deeds. Forgiveness before repentance? This sounds too much like cheap grace. I don't believe in overly harsh punishment, but I do believe in bringing those who have harmed other beings to see the errors of their ways and to experience a change of heart.
I'm thinking of this because October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. It will officially begin tomorrow with National Unity Day. And the yard at First Parish Church, the Clothesline Project will be hung by volunteers and the staff of New Hope. It is a very moving sight to see these tee shirts made by survivors of domestic violence... or in memory of those who have died. I urge you to visit the Clothesline Project in the afternoon... if you have time and haven't seen it before. And I urge you to join the candle light Vigil of Hope as announced in the bulletin.
The theme of domestic violence awareness I think ties in well with the Yom Kippur theme of atonement and forgiveness. It is not an easy issue to talk, especially when you read about real situations or know somebody personally who's been a victim of violence.
Although we know some men are abused by their spouses or partners (it is estimated about 15%), most victims of domestic violence are women. So I'll use a woman as an example. Let's say a woman named June, is abused emotionally and physically by her male partner, Joel, with whom she is living. She has put up with Joel's behavior for months, but finally gets fed up, knowing he will never change. June packs her bags and leaves, finding sanctuary at a friend's apartment. She also seeks the services of New Hope, which offers counseling for victims of domestic violence. Both the abused and the abuser, are in pain and turmoil, although in admittedly different ways. Perhaps the ultimate healing for Joel happens when he sincerely repents, apologizes, and tries to make amends to June. Perhaps this last step is impossible. Maybe Joel can only promise to stay away and never to bother June again.
But what about June, the victim... or as some prefer to call her, the survivor of abuse? Maybe it is too soon....and forgiveness is not yet appropriate for her. There is a time and a place, I would argue, for standing up for oneself and for righteous anger. But when some time has passed and a woman is in a place of safety and feels stronger, then healing begins with letting go of the anger. There may even be a feeling of compassion for the suffering of the other. What happens then when Joel apologizes and June can say "I accept your apology"? Maybe her mind, too, can be at ease, no longer trapped in the past, and her life can go on. It is not absolutely necessary to forgive and forget all that has been done. In fact, reconciliation may be impossible. Some say that only God can forgive the most serious transgressions. But it perhaps it's possible to at least make an awkward peace. Maybe healing can happen and life can begin again.
Now let's think for a moment a little more about the words of the ritual of atonement. Let's think of our own, hopefully much more ordinary situation. Think about when you said the words, "For injuries I may have caused you or any other person, I ask forgiveness." How did that feel? It might have been a bit awkward to say them. But you didn't have to REALLY be sincere to say them. You probably said them without much forethought and maybe without thinking of anything specific. It was just an exercise, really, to give you a flavor of the meaning of Yom Kippur. But according to Jewish tradition, the apology must be heartfelt and genuine. If harm is done, there must be a sincere effort to make amends.
And according to Jewish tradition, the one harmed need not forgive too easily. It's an ideal which may be beyond some of us. One Orthodox rabbi, Rabbi Joseph Soloveitchik, said that it was up to God to forgive and to cleanse the evildoer's soul of iniquity, not human beings. Members of more liberal religions may disagree with that. But sometimes it's the confession alone to God or to a person's higher power... or to one's own conscience... which enables the so-called "evildoer" to be at peace... and "to grow into harmony with the Divine."
Jewish tradition requires the victim, the one harmed to give this "evildoer" at least a chance to seek forgiveness. If someone who had harmed you deeply were to approach you in contrition, what would you do? Would you turn away and refuse to talk? Or would you stay and face them, listening to their words, trying to judge their sincerity? Would you open your mind and then your heart to them? Of course, we know our reaction would depend on the circumstances. It's hard to make a generalization.
When harm is done, it's not an easy thing ... to face each other and to speak plainly and from the heart. But it is a necessary thing if healing is to begin. "Awkward is irrelevant" as Victoria Safford said. And according to Rabbi Soloveitchik, the spirit of God, the Shekinah, is there to help those who turn to it in their shame and desire to repent. According to the rabbi, God does not totally abandon the sinner, but dwells somewhere in his or her heart.
Yom Kippur is a time of teshuva (or turning) and atonement. It is a time to mend fences between oneself and God, between oneself and neighbor, friend or family member. It is a time to mend the fences within a divided self. It is a time of coming together and of healing.
May you be healed.
May you be "at-one-ment."
May you grow into greater harmony with the Divine.
May you be at peace. Amen.
Rabbi Joseph B. Soloveitchik, "The Healing Power of Confession" on the My Jewish Learning website: http://www.myjewishlearning.com/holidays/YomKippur.htm
."What is Yom Kippur?" on the Society for Humanistic Judaism website: http://www.shj.org/YK.htm.